Sunday, July 25, 2010

Kraft project

God bless Rachael Ray! Without her I would still be surviving on spaghetti and scrambled eggs! Seriously. And things like this used to happen to me on a regular basis...


I strive to be educational here as well as entertaining. Today, for example, I have the answer to a question that I'm sure has been pressing on many of your minds as it had mine; why did the Kraft company have to invent "Easy Mac"? What is the point of putting the same product in a new package when obviously all they had to do was add onto the original box a new set of instructions on how to microwave their classic macaroni and cheese dish? Well, dear readers, rest assured that there is a valid reason. And a few years ago I humiliated, uh I mean I "experimented" at work and discovered exactly what that reason is. With that, I humbly submit my recipe for something I like to call "Macaroni Mortar."

In a bowl, combine entire box of noodles with two cups of water. Microwave for 5 minutes, stopping at about 2 1/2 minutes to stir noodles to prevent them sticking together in a solid noodle brick. Be proud of yourself for remembering this step!

Realize that you have an instant teakettle on site and decide that the noodles will be cooked better if you put them in boiling water. Drain water that you microwaved and pour in two cups of water you boiled from teakettle. Put bowl off to sit for about 5 minutes, again stirring occasionally to prevent brick.

Drain most of the water (leaving some to make cheese sauce) then add cheese powder. Mix well. Notice that the noodles have an unusual appearance, as in, they have more or less disintegrated into mush. Assume that they may not look exactly right, but probably still taste okay. Take huge bite of mush. Gag. Realize that this dish may now be used as glue for paper mache projects.

Suspect co-workers are not laughing *with* you. Glare at one who suggests that the dish may be useful as mortar for his next building project. Look pathetic and hungry until another co-worker takes pity and shares leftover pasta salad from his stash in the refrigerator. Resolve to write about the experience that others may not have to suffer as you have! Smile as you finish said entry.


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